Some will even have a general Happy Mother's Day greeting for all women in the world-in all languages.
I don't like celebrating Mother's Day not because I have something against good and respectable mothers- I don't like celebrating it- because I don't know what a good mother feels and looks like.
Every post about Mother's day-- every greeting that I see creates a sad feeling in me because
I don't know the traits of a good mother.
I have not been with one.
While I mean no offense to the rest of the world who knows what it means, it does feel alienating. I can only imagine the pain and the insult that people like me feel.
Because let us face it, not everyone has a good mother, not every child was treated well, not everyone came from a complete family- there are some of us who will never experience it..and this Mother's day thing makes it even more painful..
Because not everyone has a good mother, not everyone had a good mother, not everyone has had a supportive mother- Whenever I read something about a good mom it feels as if someone is spitting on my face.
One of the biggest insecurities I have- is the fact that I did not have a stable family life.
Did not experience a mother cooking for my meals- ( thankfully for my grandma I know what it feels like to be loved by a grandma and a grand dad)
I did not experience a mother who greeted you on your birthday, did not experience a mother who prepared your lunch for school...I have not tried seeing her guide me through school, she never looked at my grades nor my sisters grades in school--I don't even think she knows what course I took.
She is a stranger who has lived beside me, someone who comes home drunk after heavy partying- someone who did not take the trouble to ask if we already ate.
I remember being sick...she never takes us to the hospital until someone forces her to do something. I remember fainting because of anemia--all she did was stare at me in the bed- calling me a weak person for feeling sick.
My mother rarely visited us she was always somewhere else. She left us with our grandmother and I had to cancel attending my highschool graduation because I know she will not be there.
I lived with her during my college days, but all I ever saw..was a woman busy changing partners...I could not count the number of Tito's and so called Dads that I had...I could not count them through the years...there had been so many...she always had a new boyfriend.
My mom and dad got separated a long time ago..and although my dad supported us financially..they were both never there for us...I was able to forgive my father because he said sorry before he died...but my mother never did the same thing...she never cared for us--I never felt it.
This woman who gave birth to me..always took the opportunity to tell me--that giving birth to me was the reason of her hardship. She always took the time to make us feel that we are the cause of her problems.
There was even one time,she forced me to believe I have another father- just so she could get money from him by using me...
She was not supportive with everything that I ever did,she keeps on discouraging me to start a business when I talk about building one. She forced me to work in another country so she could brag around with her friends...
She buys 2 pairs of expensive shoes every day---while I always had to worry If we will be eating anything decent for the day..
I have always hidden this part of my life and have only shared it to people who will understand...for how will others understand I always keep a smiling face- I have built this facade--I have posted Facebook pictures of me and my mom..in the hopes that no one will see...but I have had enough of the lies.
There is so much more to this story--but I would rather not continue--if I will put every hardship that we went through this would not be enough and I don't want to dwell in it any longer.
I just know deep in my heart that not everyone deserves to be greeted by Happy Mother's Day...and may the stories of people like us remind the world that Women need to be cautious of their decisions in life.
Do not have children if you are not ready to face the consequences, do not have a child if you are not willing to give it your best.
Do not have a child if your career is the only thing you want to do in your life, do not start a family if you don't even know who you are.
Do not get into a relationship if yo do not even know who you are--because it is unfair..absolutely unfair to the children you will give birth to.
Be a mother...only if you can go through the hardship...be a parent only if you can make sure that you will be able to provide a decent life....
I am now more than ever doing well with my life even without her. I have removed her completely because I no longer want to feel pain.
I can improve my life, and I can always change my life- I don't want to blame her- I can only feel responsible for myself.
I don't always have to be the victim...and while there is still pain in my heart. I know that I will be fine, like all of the children who grew up to be wonderful people despite what has happened to their families.
I don't want to be someone who always blames somebody else for their miseries in life like she did. I want to take responsibility of my choices.
And although this is just a small voice of someone who has experienced something like this..
Please remember that some of us exist...some of your friends have been neglected by their parents, some of your friends did not always have the happy family life that you have had.
And while my story might not be the saddest of them all...Please spare a thought for us each time you greet your parents...
Appreciate your parents who did everything for you...some of us can only envy you from afar...
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